Today I thought I’d share the wisdom offered by another of my allies. I’d been introduced to this “being” as part of the processes required for my Feeding Your Demons (FYD) Facilitator training For a more detailed introduction, you can reference this post.

I woke up one day feeling incredibly uncertain about my life's direction. My decade-long dream of establishing a private therapy practice in Japan and spending the rest of my life there didn’t work out, and I was devastated. I had stumbled upon an alternative location, Portugal, but gathering all the documents necessary to obtain a Portuguese residency visa during a worldwide pandemic required inordinate amounts of determination, time, and energy. And my new home, Madeira, while beautiful, was a land of sharp volcanic edges, steep harrowing roads, and another new, incomprehensible language. I couldn't help but feel disoriented. It was the third continent I had called home that year, and the constant striving had left me utterly exhausted.

The demon I decided to confront, overwhelming uncertainty, took the form of a peculiar figure: a 5-foot-tall gray, rubbery, and sluggish blob. It exuded introversion, a sense of dullness, and an suffocating feeling of depression. It was almost immobilized by misery. All this entity seemed to want was to be cared for and to escape its profound unhappiness.

The Ally who emerged after the feeding was…a huge, pink Barbie car???

What’s this all about again?

Just a bit of information about the FYD process. The underlying concept of this work, or any form of Shadow Work, is that each of us harbors aspects of ourselves that we might prefer to avoid or overlook. These parts often go unnoticed, and we may not even be aware of their presence. Yet, they exist beneath the surface, quietly affecting us, and the effort required to keep them suppressed can take a toll on us both physically and emotionally.

FYD was created as a tool not just to acknowledge these shadows but to explore them with curiosity. The end result is an uncovering of the valuable wisdom that lies within these hidden facets of ourselves. Our so-called "demons" are only energy. Through this straightforward exercise, we have the potential to transform their weighty, dark energy into a supportive and beneficial ally.

The Wisdom of my Ally

My ally was a pink, plastic convertible about 12’ long, smelled of candy corn, and was making revving sounds. He had a happy, open, excited, upbeat personality, and was solid, yet was also magical and could fly.

He told me the following:

I will help you by getting you revved up and moving! I will protect you by lightening up your mood when you feel low and giving you a ride away from that state. You can access me by saying, “Vroom, vroom!”

Honestly? Really?

He continued:

Yes! Feel how much lighter you are when you smile and see something silly. This silliness is very important for you now. Allow your mind and body to engage in child-like activities—coloring, wearing sparkles, eat a little candy, fling yourself around. When you stagnate, the constriction sets in and you become immobile at all levels.

Don’t endlessly obsess about when you will return to Japan. Focus on the immediate road ahead. Make your new website, reinvent your new self. See yourself sitting in me and notice how that makes you feel lighter and smile. THAT energy is extremely valuable to you at this time.

You use planning vacations as a diversion, as a way to generate excitement and enthusiasm. But it is veering you away from the road, onto the shoulder and into a ditch, and you are just spinning your wheels there. You are here (on Madeira) to use the resources here to move ahead—the earth, the fire, the water. Stay focused, and use your time wisely, AND get in me and go for a mental ride whenever you like!!!

Oh, drink more water! That is like gas for you. Really. At least 2 liters a day. Your mood will improve.

As crazy as it seems, this was the Perfect Advice. And I received it during a 30 minute meditation practice. If you’d like to try Feeding Your Demons and connect with one of YOUR allies, you may make an appointment here!

At Bodhisattva Bodywork, I offer a variety of stress reduction and trauma resolution therapeutic services in my Madeira, Portugal office, and online via a secure video link. I’m also developing a series of online courses to help balance and heal our individual, communal, and global traumas through cultivation of the Sacred Feminine at www.bodhicittasomatics.com.